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You're Not Enemies. But Lately It Doesn't Feel That Way.
Couples therapy is for relationships where distance has built between two people who started out close. When this happens, couples often have the same fight on repeat, feel less warmth between each other, and don't feel like they're on the same team.
I work with expats, intercultural couples, and internationally mobile partners who want to understand what's actually happening between them, and who are willing to do something about it. If you're looking for a therapist who will tell both of you the truth, including the parts neither of you wants to hear, we should talk.
Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation
What Couples Therapy Actually Works On
Couples come to therapy for different reasons, but underneath most of them is some version of the same problem: two people who have stopped being able to reach each other. Each partner has a version of the story, and both versions contain blind spots. Couples therapy helps because a third person can often see what two people inside the dynamic cannot.
Communication and Conflict
Most couples are not fighting about what they think they are fighting about. Arguments about money, parenting, sex, time, or who dropped the ball usually sit on top of something deeper. The problem is rarely that you do not communicate. Most couples communicate constantly. The problem is that what one person means and what the other person hears are often not the same thing. The work is slowing the process down, making the pattern visible, and understanding what each of you is actually trying to say when the conversation goes sideways.
Emotional Distance
This is the subtle version of relationship trouble. There may be no dramatic, out-in-the-open conflict. But something has changed: conversations are purely practical and physical affection is rare. You coexist, but that's about as much as can be said. By the time most couples name it, the distance has been building for a long time. The work is understanding how it formed, how you both play a part in maintaining it, and what it takes to reestablish genuine closeness.
Trust Ruptures and Infidelity
A betrayal changes the relationship you thought you were in. Rebuilding after infidelity takes more than time, remorse, or reassurance. It requires a direct reckoning with what happened, why it happened, and what each of you needs to do differently in order to repair and move forward.
Intercultural Relationships
When two people come from different cultural backgrounds, the relationship carries assumptions neither partner can fully see at the start. Unspoken expectations around money, family involvement, gender roles, emotional expression, and conflict are shaped by culture long before the relationship begins. When those assumptions collide, it rarely feels like a cultural disagreement; it usually feels personal and threatening to the relationship. I work with intercultural couples regularly, and I am in an intercultural marriage myself. As such, I help bring attention to the deeper values underneath the surface argument.
Codependency and Relational Imbalance
Some couples do not fight much, but the relationship is still not working. One person's needs consistently take priority. One partner carries more of the emotional weight and does more of the relational work. The dynamic becomes more of a caretaking, parent-child relationship than a genuine adult partnership. From the outside, it can look stable but on the inside at least one partner is building resentment. Therapy helps make the imbalance visible so that both partners can begin relating from a place of mutuality.
Starting Well — Premarital Therapy
Premarital work is for couples who want to be sure they are building something solid from the beginning. Most people enter marriage with goodwill and optimism. The question is whether you have had the conversations that actually matter: about money, children, family, conflict, roles, sex, and what each of you expects from the other when times get hard. It is much easier to address those assumptions before they take on a life of their own.
My Approach to Couples Work
Couples therapy with me is direct. I am not a referee, and I am not here to decide who is right. I am here to help both of you see the pattern that keeps producing the same painful result, and to bring awareness to the ways you each play a role in sustaining it. That means both partners will probably hear things they find uncomfortable.
I'm trained in two approaches to couples therapy that I consider especially effective: PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) and RLT (Relational Life Therapy). PACT helps us understand what happens to each of your nervous systems under stress and what it would take to create more safety and security between you. RLT is more direct. It looks at the adaptive stances each of you learned long before the relationship began, how those patterns show up now, and what it takes to change them.
Most couples therapy stays too close to the presenting problem. My training is designed to get underneath it, so that we can resolve it once and for all.
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MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling
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Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)
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PACT Level 2 Trained
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RLT Certified Couples Therapist
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ISTDP (Ongoing Training)
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Certification in ACT
What to Expect
Direct
I'll be honest about what I see in the room, including the patterns both of you may not be aware of and the ways each of you could be contributing to the difficulty. This is not a space to vent while I stay politely neutral. I'll have a point of view.
Online, Across Time Zones
All sessions are held over secure video. I'm based in Istanbul (GMT+3) and work with couples around the world. Sessions are 75 minutes, and we'll find a time that works for both of your schedules.
Depth Over Communication Tips
The goal is not to hand you a few techniques and hope that does the job. I want to understand the relational pattern driving the conflict so that the conflict itself becomes less necessary.
Moving From the First Session
I do not spend weeks circling the problem. Early on, both of you should have a clearer sense of what is actually happening between you and where the work needs to go. Sessions are focused and designed to create movement in the relationship from the start.
Getting Started Is Simple
Step 1.
Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation
A short video call with both partners to talk about what's going on and whether working together makes sense. No forms, no commitment.
Step 2.
Schedule Your First Session
If we're a good fit, we'll book your first full 75-minute session at a time that works across your time zones.
Step 3.
Start the Real Work
No weeks of small talk or unnecessary delay. We identify the pattern and begin addressing it from the first session.
What Clients Say
As an intercultural couple, we felt misunderstood by traditional therapists. In The Other Therapy we found someone with first-hand experience. It's been a profound experience.
P&D, Turkey
Trevor's demeanor, thoughtful listening skills, and valuable questions empowered me to speak candidly, and listen carefully to his thoughts and questions. He was able to reframe and demystify things that I believed to be absolutes. Specifically things that were holding me back.
Korey K., Florida
Since I started with Trevor, I've made huge progress. He strikes the perfect balance between empathy and challenging my old beliefs. I wouldn't be the same person today without him.
Wendy L., Australia
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